The exercise of will begins in early childhood. Developmentally, there is a stage at the age of two when children begin to say no. They love the power of that No! It can be quite frustrating for the adults in the children’s world at that point. As adults, we want to get things done so we tend to unconsciously knock down that will… But that exercise of will that is happening at that point is very important later on in adulthood. It’s what allows perseverance, focus and commitment to goals.
So if we didn’t practice it in our childhood and didn’t get to establish our autonomy at that stage, then at some point in life, the challenge of the No is going to come up again. And what tends to happen if we’ve been brought up to be responsible and a good person is that a lot of guilt will be attached to that No.
Successful people always attest to the power of No
Saying No to what is not on target is natural for successful people. Part of their success is being laser focused on what it is that they want to create, therefore being comfortable saying No to what doesn’t feature in that plan.
So in this video, I discuss the Upside of No !
The benefit to both parties
When I was in the world of finance, there was a lot going on in my world and I remember wanting to get out of a dinner I’d said yes to. At the time, one of my best friends from college was living in London. She introduced me to the idea that my No might actually benefit the other person. That was such novel concept to me! And I tried it, instantly feeling an energetic relief.
If the energy is not moving you, it’s the right thing for the other person too!
Sometimes the other person might not even be aware of the advantage it offers them. What might happen is that the person now stuck at home or without a plan for the evening might end up making a call or doing something that’s in their interest, something they wouldn’t have done had they been busy… We have to trust that if the energy is not moving us, in the big scheme of things, there is an advantage for the other person as well.
The Upside of No and Life’s rewards
When we say No as in we’re looking after ourselves and our needs, and being true to us, then we are instantly rewarded by life. This is something I learnt and have gone on discovering and I continue to be surprised!
The Word No requires courage and being true to ourselves and living a life that’s authentically us requires courage. The word courage come from coeur (meaning heart) in French. Living a life that feels good to you is going to require courage every step of the way. And Life fully supports that journey 🌟
P.S. If you’re curious and wanting to solve repeated patterns that don’t serve, my book Tap into Miracles offers a global look at early childhood and its impact on adult life. You will have your own aha moments and happily graduate from nonsensical obstacles.
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